My generation is an odd one. I feel that we are misunderstood, often characterized as narcissistic and feeling that we deserve a lot more than we do. I’ve read books basically talking about how horrible my generation is (which begs the question: If we are that way, then what does that say about the people who raised us, who probably wrote some of these books?).
This comes up as I read an article on MSNBC.com recently, which said that unemployment rates for our generation are at their lowest in decades. On top of it, we can’t get work in the fields that we trained for because the older generation is still continuing to work and getting the jobs that used to be filled by us. It discussed how my generation is incredibly educated, but saddled with college loans and having to move back in with their parents in order to get by. In turn, we won’t make as much as our parents and will have a difficult time achieving what came so easily to them.
The way we have dealt with the recession has varied. I have watched as many people from my generation have gone back to school either in order to ride out the recession or to maybe get a better job. Quite a few of my friends applied to law school and are attending in the fall – some of them going to incredible schools. Same goes with MBA programs. On the opposite side, I have also seen members of my generation behave foolishly, taking trips they really can’t afford and spending money they don’t have. But it doesn’t answer the question – who are we, really?
We can’t seem to be explained in song like our parents, or even have a whole bunch of movies like Generation X did with John Hughes. Heck, we don’t even have a war to define us like the World War II generation. The culture of America can’t seem to touch us or put a finger on us, and G-d knows they have tried their best. They have appealed to our demographic in television, film and whatnot, but at the same time they haven’t captured our essence. In a sense, we are elusive – which results in many books trying to explore this question.
The truth is that we are still trying to learn who we are. We were raised by parents who either were so busy working they threw money at us or had their entire lives revolve around our different lessons and sports. They were successful, but we learned that success sometimes things would fall by the wayside. We also lived in a generation where our parents’ divorces or those of our friends’ parents became a natural part of our lives, so there was a degree of heartbreak as well.
The fact that the feminist and civil rights movements came before we were born has given us advantages that our mothers and sometimes fathers never had. It was a given that girls were going to go to college, and not just to find a husband. I feel like we have had a lot, and I have always appreciated what our parents have done in order to provide the lives they gave us.
But the truth is that maybe we don’t want the lives our parents had, no matter what they gave us. Perhaps we want to put more into our relationships than we do into our working lives. We may not work 16-hour days like our parents did, but we will be able to have fulfillment beyond just making a check. This doesn’t make us less ambitious – just more aware of what we can lose if we give everything to our work or to our kids.
All I really know is that members of my generation are in for the fight of their lives. Our parents were fortunate enough that when they were growing up, most of them never knew firsthand what our grandparents went through in the Great Depression. But the fact is that we are dealing now, and we will learn through experience what it takes to survive.
After all, who knows? We could become a greater generation.
When I was in high school, I had a friend who figured out he was gay, and came out. He was a good friend, and what he did took a lot of guts: Admitting you’re gay in a high school that was insanely homophobic, right down to every person saying, “That’s so gay” whenever anything was wrong, was beyond courageous. I will always admire him for it, and never forget it.
Even before I knew that certain friends were gay (many of whom came out later), I knew that being homophobic was wrong. I knew it just as much as I knew that being racist or sexist was wrong.
The issue became personal later as I realized that someone very close to me who I love is gay. Growing up, I thought that my Uncle B living in West Hollywood, having a bunch of Disney stuff and an interior design business was normal. I wondered why he didn’t get married, because he was the best uncle that two little girls could ever ask for. I was beginning to sense that he was gay when my dad, his brother, had a conversation with him about my sister’s first boyfriend, and he was talking about the wedding.
“Now, now, she’s got a lot more boys’ hearts to break,” my father said.
“Well, so do I!” Uncle B replied.
The truth was that I found out later about how his sexual identity tortured him. My grandfather never really understood my uncle, and my grandmother never really accepted his sexual identity. It was during a complicated time where homosexuality wasn’t talked about openly. There have been so many generations where people were ruined by living in a world where there wasn’t acceptance of how they lived.
I love Uncle B very much, and think of him, and all my amazing gay friends of past, present and future, today as proposition 8 was overturned by a federal judge. Gay marriage, for me, is right for so many reasons, from helping increase our revenues from the increased marriage industry that California would have or simply because it’s better than the lame excuses that the other side gives (Protect marriage? From who? Is there an evil monster coming to destroy the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder’s office because of this?).
Yes, I do keep kosher and I am a conservative Jew, but the fact of the matter is that I am a fan of progress. I am not for tradition unless it means something at the end of the day, and not a fan of things being a certain way just because they always were that way. So in a world where straight people get divorced as quickly as they say, “I do,” I am a firm believer in giving marriage to people who still hold it as something sacred.
This does make me an odd anomaly in a world where I balance tradition and the modern world. I have detested the arguments where people say “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” or that the bible said it. The truth is the bible also outlined how we sacrifice animals. And many of the who don’t want gay marriage and cite the bible for their reason I’m sure love their pork – and this kosher goddess may take away your pork and cheeseburgers in that case to prove your hypocrisy (Leviticus is where they first outline kashrut laws and where many cite the “homosexuality is an abomination” thing, FYI).
The truth of the matter? It’s not our business. I have come to the conclusion that I am the only one who can control my life, and I believe that everyone else should be given the same autonomy. The whole question of G-d is something that cannot be forced down our throats. When it comes down to it, my personal choices are between Hashem and me, and I will only answer to The Holy One at the end of the day. It should be the same for our gay friends.
I want to let my gay friends know that I will be a friend to them no matter what happens. It’s why the overturning of Proposition 8 is so important to me. I stand against inequality and always stand for love. When I see pictures of you looking so happy with your loved one as you are about to be married, I am joyous in the fact that there is more love in this universe than hate. And it gives me that much more of a chance to see a gay wedding. I definitely want to go to a gay wedding!
And on that note, here is a pizza that you could serve as an appetizer at your wedding. Here’s to all my gay friends and to my beloved uncle. I love you!
GOAT CHEESE PIZZA
1 ball pizza dough (see QUICK TIP 1)
Flour
¼ cup spaghetti or pizza sauce (see QUICK TIP 2)
1 8-ounce container of goat cheese
1 can sliced black olives
8-10 marinated artichoke hearts
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon oregano
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Knead and roll out your pizza dough on a biscuit tray, using flour in case it gets too sticky. Pour and spread out spaghetti sauce on top.
Slice the goat cheese and disperse evenly on top of the dough. Top with olives. Drain and pat the artichoke dry of any excess oil and top the pizza. Sprinkle parmesan and oregano.
Bake for 20 minutes, until the artichokes and cheese begin to slightly brown. Slice and serve.
QUICK TIP 1: I use store-bought dough, as it really is a lot easier for me to do on a night where I need a quick meal. However, if you want to make your own dough, I really like this recipepizza.com site for the variety, but this recipe from Giada DeLaurentiis looks fabulous .
During the last two weeks, I was house sitting and dog sitting for little white Bichon by the name of Rusty (whose cute face is at left). He belongs to my cousins, and they asked us to take care of him while they were on vacation. I’m a dog lover, so I agreed.
What I forgot, since it has been a long time since I have actually owned a dog, is how each one is different. There are certain aspects of their personalities that are funny, charming and unusual. For example, Rusty thinks I’m a sucker, so he decides to hide under my cousin’s bed in the hopes that he’ll get a treat. When I don’t respond, he finds me and looks at me as if to say, “What gives?” That, and he loved stealing clothes from my suitcase and taking them into my cousin’s room. Oh, and a tissue that I blew my nose in as well.
One thing is for sure: Dogs aren’t called man’s best friend for no reason. They are the ones who make us laugh and smile, and sometimes shake our heads in confusion. They’re there to comfort us when we cry. And they are the ones who hold a special place in our hearts, even as the years go by and they leave us.
Ari didn’t have dogs when he was growing up, but I sure did. When I was born, I had a protector by the name of Spirit. He was a mutt born on Halloween, and was six years old when I came into the world. He kept track of me like I was one of his puppies, and made sure to stand guard at my crib.
My sister had a protector, too – Spirit’s sister, Gobbie, or Goblin. They were mischievous and fun, and we were one of them. They enjoyed us and took care of us in their own special canine way for as long as they could. Goblin died when I was three, but Spirit lasted a long time, and died six years later. He was my first best friend – gentle, sweet and incredibly patient when I was putting different hats on him for fun.
I loved having dogs growing up. They had free spirits filled with complexity. They’re soulful, playful and sometimes rambunctious. Even Radar, my sister’s dog who came after Gobbie, had her own thing going on – right down to eating my chemistry homework in 10th grade. But all they really want to do is be there for you. That, and in Radar’s case, eat anything that came in her general direction.
It even shows in years later, as my mother cares for the dog that I picked out, Lucy. This German Shepherd is a very funny dog indeed, whether she’s following mom like a shadow, running around after a ball (or a squirrel, if she can find one) or sticking her cold wet nose right where that tiny little bit of skin is showing between your shirt and your jeans so she can be pet. At one point, dad found her waiting for mom in a pile of clothes in the closet. Unusual beasts, indeed.
But the truth is that, no matter how much they get on our nerves or drive us crazy with their antics, a cute dog is a pretty hard thing to get over. One day on my walk, I was coming back to my car past the Belmont Shore dog beach, and then I saw it: A dog whose face was identical to my Spirit’s face. This dog happened to be a puppy, and was ready to give its owners a lifetime of fun and joy. It was a young couple, and I wondered if they would eventually have children who would enjoy having a dog, running around the backyard and the dog covering that child’s face with kisses.
Either way, when we came back to Long Beach from our little adventure with Rusty, I kept looking down towards the doorway to our bedroom. I could almost see him there, looking at me funny, waiting to run down the hall with me and pose himself conveniently next to the garage door, waiting for a treat. Or running around like a puppy waiting to go on his walk. For a dog who loved stealing my clothing, it turns out that he warmed my heart.
So, in honor of Rusty the clothes-stealer, I have a recipe. If there was one thing that Rusty really enjoyed, it was the smell of chopped garlic. When I was mincing it, it seemed to be Rusty’s cue to come visit me in the kitchen. I made this dish when I was house sitting, and it was too good not to share. This is a very basic recipe, and it’s good for when you’re starting out making curries. Serve with brown rice.
TOFU COCONUT CURRY
1 block extra-firm tofu
¼ cup hoisin sauce
8 shiitake mushrooms
3 small heads bok choy
2-3 large carrots
4 green onions
4 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons sesame oil
2 cans light coconut milk
2-3 tablespoons curry powder
Other curry spices (see QUICK TIP 2)
Drain the tofu and chop into cubes (see QUICK TIP 1). Marinate in hoisin sauce. Meanwhile, slice the shiitake mushrooms and chop the bok choy (discarding roots and ends) and carrots. Slice the green onions and mince the garlic.
In a soup pan, heat the oil and add the shiitakes and carrots. Season with salt and pepper. Add the garlic. Saute for three to four minutes, then add the tofu. Cook for another two minutes, constantly turning the pan.
Add the bok choy and green onions. Add the coconut milk, curry powder and other spices. Allow to simmer until the coconut milk begins to reduce and the mixture begins to thicken. Serve hot over rice.
QUICK TIP 1: Tofu, if not drained properly, will fall apart during cooking. If your tofu is packed in water, remove it from the package and wrap it in paper towels. Put it on a plate and place another one on top with a heavy object to weigh it down. You may have to replace the paper towels several times. However, if you can find your tofu vacuum-sealed instead of packed in water, it will take you a lot less time to drain it.
QUICK TIP 2: I personally like my curry powder and coconut milk for the mixture because it doesn’t overpower the subtle sweetness of the mixture. However, there are certain components of the curry powder spice mix you like best – like ginger, tumeric, coriander and cumin, or even cinnamon, clove, nutmeg and mustard powder – that you may want to accentuate. If so, feel free to add them to your curry.
