Fighting the Power: The Problem with Jewish Non-Profits

Recently, I was out with my friend Merav. We were driving in her car to a place I don’t really recall right now, but we were discussing my monetary situation. At the time, it was incredibly desperate, as Ari didn’t have a job yet (not to say we’re out of the woods yet. Money’s still tight).

As we discussed this, she almost immediately brought up an organization that often solicits donations and the upcoming event they were doing.

“We keep giving that money, and where does the money go?” she asked. “Shouldn’t it go to members of our community that are suffering? We know you are having problems, and what are they doing to help you and Ari?”

It is a question that I have heard brought up hundreds of times, and often it is thought about for five seconds and dismissed even quicker. There are Jewish non-profits all over the United States that donate to Israel and developing countries throughout the world. They help other non-profits for other causes, such as cancer cures and blood donation. Others claim they are changing the world by allowing innovators to come together, but the truth of the matter is that they’re only making themselves feel more important. When it comes to helping those who need it in the community, it is something that is often mumbled and then moved away from.

Non-profits, in the Jewish world, have the most power. Synagogues are considered non-profits, and the majority of powerful organizations in our world are also non-profits. They receive tons of money every year. However, do we really know where our money is going when we donate $5, $50 or $500 to our local Jewish non-profit? Does it go to help a family in need or help pad the salary of someone who already makes a bunch of money? Are we helping those who need it locally or are we sending the money far away? And is the money going directly to those in need or are people skimming off of the top? These are all questions that deserve to be answered.

Jewish non-profits have the power to help those who need it the most, and how do they repay the people who give them money? In some cases, they are incredibly mismanaged, some to the point where the non-profit fails and takes advantage of their employees. There are others that hire incompetent people who have proved themselves incapable of serving the community in other positions, but are the “friend of friends” and get the job instead of people that can make a difference. I swear, the only people who are worse at changing their habits and replacing the older people than the Jewish non-profit world is Congress.

This is not to say there aren’t great people working at Jewish non-profits. Some happen to be my friends and are amazing at what they do. This is also not to say that there aren’t wonderful Jewish non-profits that are doing great work. Jewish Family Services has been a wonderful source of low-income therapy for people who need it but can’t afford the cost. I was active in Hillel most of my college life, and they need donations in order to keep offering programming (and to keep some of my good friends employed). But when I hear about organizations asking for money or receiving thousands of dollars without any evidence of output… well, it makes me kind of mad. After experiencing difficulties firsthand and seeing how organizations responded, it’s worth getting mad over.

So what do I ask for from Jewish non-profits to regain my trust? The answer is simple – transparency. Every corporation that’s for profit has to post how much money it made or lost in quarterly reports. This is not required by non-profits, but I think it is vital for the public trust. Either way, annual reports should not be hidden in the corners of a website, but rather posted right there on the main page. If there’s anything fishy going on at a non-profit, the Jewish press should be responsible and let people know, not allowing things to be swept under the rug. And as my friend Eden has said, we need more MBAs working with non-profits. We need people who understand that in order to run a non-profit effectively, you need to have the best people working for you and be able to manage properly. They need to have common business sense in addition to being compassionate and able to run a non-profit.

Eden is currently doing that – getting her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in order to specialize in running Jewish non-profits. I already know that she is going to be an amazing leader for this community. I honor her as a person who is ready to make a difference. As for the non-profits out there, you have been put on notice. Know that there is someone out there who is keeping an eye on you, like here at Young, Broke and Kosher. It’s time for you to take care of your own.

The Welcoming Committee

On Friday night at the Sephardic Temple in Los Angeles, I sat next to a man named Joe. Although he lives here in the United States now, he came with his wife to the United States almost 60 years ago from a displaced persons’ camp in Greece, which were set up after World War II.

“Two days later, we were at your grandparents’ house for dinner,” he said. “Your mother was just a little girl.”

He was not the only person I had heard this story from. I couldn’t tell you how many members of that older generation told me a similar story of how they arrived in this country and within days ended up at my grandparents’ table. It was a very special phenomenon, particularly considering who they were.

Joe and Regina Amira were not wealthy people. On the contrary, they were poor, with my Papu (Joe) having to work three jobs to get by. They never owned a home and never really had a lot of space. But they opened their hearts and their apartment to whomever needed a place to eat.

This tradition continued in weird random ways. I remember once that my grandmother was having a bed delivered to the guest room of their apartment in Beverly Hills, and she treated the movers to a home-cooked meal. It felt like there never needed to be a direct occasion for being invited to a meal at the Amira house; you just were, and my grandmother was always there with some form of food. The door seemed to be open to anyone, whether it was my grandmother’s upstairs neighbor or her grandchildren through the years.

So many years have gone by since my grandmother even was able to cook. I’m a married woman and my grandparents are long gone, only available to me in photographs and long periods of thought where I concentrate on their voices, pulling them up like repressed memories. I miss them more than I can say, particularly now; I’m sure that Nony would be able to tell me how I would be able to survive a recession like this and Papu would be sitting in his chair, thrilled that he could engage someone like Ari in talks of politics, which is something he loved very much.

I yearn for my welcoming committee, the people who brought us into their home and wrapped their arms around us so tightly. I long for that sacred kitchen where I was able to say anything to my grandmother with no judgment involved. There is so much loss, and a space in my heart that will always be empty without them.

And yet through them comes a few miracles.

The other night, Ari and I opened our doors to our friends who live close by, making a dinner for them and sharing in each other’s company. We laughed and shared our New Year’s resolutions together. I noticed the wildly random group of people there: immigrants making new families in the United States, couples coming together in love and devotion, best friends sharing their lives and the ultimate strengthening of friendships.

At one point, I made a toast to our friendship, and my beloved friend Nelli began to talk about Ari and I and how we open our home and share our lives. Strangely, though, I had heard these words before. They were about Joe and Reggie, the words that were spoken through the years about them. I even decided to show everyone their picture and tell their story. They would always be alive through me.

As though this wasn’t enough to bring them back, then came another way. The Saturday night following that dinner, my mother hosted a dinner for her oldest brother, Victor, at her house. The whole family was there, including a new addition: my cousin Amy’s boyfriend, Mikey. As the evening passed and we finished our dinner, my sister brought up the suggestion to play some home movies. With that, Ari, Amy, Mikey, my sister and I marched into the living room to replay the memories that my cousins Benny and Sarah had collected for us.

I watched as the whole family gathered in the room and were greeted by family members here and no longer here, remembered and forgotten. We watched as my grandmother laughed and my great aunt goofed around. We watched my cousin Jack film the three cousins together, watching as how our personalities never really changed (including the part about me bouncing around).

My eyes welled up as I heard my grandmother’s voice, which seemed so far away from me, and Amy and I embraced each other, staring at the television screen, trying to absorb every second of our grandparents like a sponge. As Mikey enjoyed getting insight into our family (and his girlfriend’s funny four-year-old nature), I felt like we had remembered who had brought us together. As we looked at the screen, we watched as they spoke to us from across time, welcoming us back into the warmth of their love – all while leaving room for the newest additions to the clan.

So in honor of their love and devotion, I offer up a recipe for squash frittada. This is Amy’s favorite, and I hope she sees this and enjoys this.

SQUASH FRITTADA

Pam

3 lbs. zucchini

1 large onion, diced

3 tablespoons butter or oil

3 of eggs

1-2 tablespoons chicken consomme powder

1 cup parmesan cheese, plus extra

About 2 cups matzo meal, divided use

5-6 matzah pieces

Preheat oven 350. Spray baking sheet with Pam and layer with enough matzo meal to coat the bottom of the pan. Toast the matzo meal in the oven until it's golden brown.

Meanwhile, saute the onion in butter until translucent. Allow to cool. Grate the zucchini into a large bowl. Add the onion, eggs, consomme powder, parmesan cheese and 1 1/2 cups matzo meal. Mix thoroughly.

Wet the matzah slightly and layer into the baking sheet evenly. Pour the zucchini mixture on top. Sprinkle matzo meal and parmesan cheese on top. Score the mixture before baking in order to allow easy cutting afterwards. Place in the oven and bake for 1 hour. Serve, or can be frozen for later use.

Quick Tip: If you want a tangier flavor, my mother likes using half sharp cheddar cheese and half parmesan.

Halal vs. Kosher

Recently, I talked about the connections between Islam and the Jewish people, and how building bridges inspires me in the kitchen. Yet here is another question about the distances between Jews and Muslims, and once again, it deals with food.

Almost five and a half years ago, when I was an intern in Washington, D.C., I was working on keeping kosher so far away from home. There weren’t a lot of people on my trip who were kosher. However, there were quite a few Muslims, and they often asked me where I was getting meat – they were halal, but they also could eat kosher meat.

It was around this time that I started to research Halal and find out about it. I then wondered to myself, Can I eat Halal meat?

It’s a question that my friends at PunkTorah have recently brought up (the video is up above), and it’s one that’s worth discussing even further in depth. Although I am pretty confident that many Orthodox Jews would say that you absolutely can’t eat halal meat, I find it a question worth bringing up.

After some special research, it turns out that halal and kashrut processes aren’t that different. The slaughtering ritual is very similar; shechita and dhabiha require the same attention to being humane during the course of slaughter. Also, there must be attention to the fact that the animal must be completely drained of blood before consumption, despite the different methods of doing so -- Jews use salt, Muslims often use vinegar. Many of the animals that are deemed halal are also kosher, although there are exceptions such as camel. Then again, when was the last time you saw that camel was for sale as meat in the United States?

There are differences, of course. For example, shellfish fall under Halal, whereas Jews cannot eat them. Also, with Halal, there is no separation between milk and meat, there are no separate dishes and Halal allows for the entire animal to be eaten (kashrut requires that certain veins, fats and sinews are removed, and typically the back half of the animal is not used unless being butchered by a very experienced Sephardic butcher in Israel). Interestingly enough, that summer in D.C., I was told that kosher meat was more restrictive than Halal.

Interestingly enough, the Qur’an dealt with this in Surah 5:5. It says there that, “The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you.” Often, this interpretation is led to be “the People of the Book,” namely Jews and Christians. Conversely, it also encourages people who aren’t Muslim to accept halal as a valid form of food.

For someone like me, who got into being kosher almost as a form of being nice to animals, this brings up some interesting questions. After all, I have been going up to LA, dragging along my little cooler and loading up on super-expensive kosher meat and bringing it back to my freezer. If I chose that I could eat Halal meat, all I would have to do is go to the little Persian market in Anaheim and bring it home. Locally, I could have all the lamb I wanted to eat at a price much less that I am paying in LA. The thought of that just makes me drool.

I’m sure there is going to be a divide on this issue between the Orthodox and Conservative communities, that age-old battle between tradition, modernity and everything in between. But I think it’s something we should talk about with our Muslim friends. We should see what they think too, and engage in some friendly debate. Could we reach a middle ground on this? Could we find a way to eat together? I think we can – after all, food is a lot less divisive than suicide bombers and settlements.

In the meantime, I made a salad last night that I think both Muslims and Jews can get behind – that unless, some Jews will think the name of the salad is unkosher.

“CHEESEBURGER” SALAD

2-3 cups baby spinach or chopped romaine lettuce

¼ fresh chopped cilantro

1 red pepper, diced

1-2 carrots, peeled and sliced

3 green onions, sliced

1 can olives, drained and sliced

10 marinated artichoke hearts

½ cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1 package soy crumbles

½ cup tzatziki (see quick tip 1)

Combine all the vegetables in a large bowl. Heat soy crumbles in the microwave for three minutes or in a large saucepan.

Pour the soy crumbles on top of the salad and top with cheese. Use the tzatziki as a dressing and toss to coat. Serve immediately.

QUICK TIP 1: I have a great guy at my local farmer’s market who makes what could be the most awesome tzatziki, so I used it for this recipe. However, if you don’t have a tzatziki monger, try this recipe from Ina Garten at the Food Network: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/tzatziki-recipe/index.html.

QUICK TIP 2: If you don’t like red pepper, feel free to substitute it with tomatoes, if that’s your thing. Personally, I don’t like the texture of tomatoes and I find red peppers to be a nice and crisp substitution.

MAWAGE IS WOT BWINGS US TOGETHA TODAY

Okay, from the headline, I am sure that you are going to think that this post will be a little nuts (unless you haven’t watched “The Princess Bride” – and if you haven’t, please go watch it and come back to this blog later). However, this is all about a subject that people often think about, particularly in the Jewish community: mawage… I mean, marriage, not to mention relationships.

We have come to that point in time where the people around me are looking for their partners, finding their partners or actually walking down the aisle. There is a range of diversity to these couples, from those who compliment each other perfectly and are ridiculously in love to those who are together, but you’re not exactly sure why they are. There are plenty of shades of gray in between too, as every couple is different and comes together – not to mention stays together – due to different reasons or circumstances.

No matter what, when it comes to dating and relationships, I feel that I am a source of pretty solid advice. Although this may be a food blog, I realize that it’s important you have someone to share your food with. So today, I am going to share some of my worldly wisdom regarding the institute of love:

1) For those who are dating or wanting to date, you will be getting nowhere if you don’t first take care of yourself. You’ve got to love you before someone else will. Likewise, please resolve as many of your personal issues before you get involved with someone. Even though we all bring baggage into relationships, travelling lighter is always preferred.

2) Reina’s first rule of dating: No mommy/daddy issues. If you are dating someone who has serious issues with his parent of the opposite gender, it is a huge red flag. It will translate in how that person treats you over the course of your relationship. For example, if a guy is a serious mama’s boy, he will always give her preferential treatment over his girl. If he has been battling with his mother, it may pass on some misogynistic tendencies. Best solution? Find a partner who treats their parents with respect, but not reverence.

3) Have standards about who you want to date, as you deserve to date someone who is not a psychopath or has the dreaded mommy issues. However, too many standards equals unhappiness in the dating world. Prince/Princess Charming is dead. No one is perfect, or will match up identical to you. I met a singles’ columnist once who told a story about she was dating this guy, but he liked baseball and she didn’t, so it would never work. As far as I know, she is still single.

4) Be upfront about your dating expectations. I have a friend who is not ready to have a committed relationship, and tells girls who he dates that he is dating to have fun. The girl gets to decide, since he’s been so honest, whether or not she wants to pursue things. I give him props, because that leads to the next rule…

5) Be honest with each other. Don’t lie about your profession, your background, etc., because if you’re looking for a relationship, it leads to certain doom. That said, you don’t have to tell each other everything, but you should be straightforward. Don’t play games with people.

6) Please do not be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. It just builds resentment.

7) Don’t just date someone because they look good or they have a ton of money. As the current economy could tell you, money disappears. Looks fade. There needs to be something substantial underneath all that to back it up.

8) When it comes to picking a partner, ladies, find a man who is more into you than you are into him. Originally, I thought this was not good advice. But I can tell you for a fact that when a guy is more into you, it makes things a lot easier in the course of a relationship – less risk of cheating, more romance, more balance. I believe in gender equality, but love does not operate on such technicalities.

9) You cannot change the person that you are dating or in a relationship with. This is not Pygmalion, folks. They are who they are. If you don’t like it, then do yourself (and that person) a favor and move on.

10) Good communication. That is all that needs to be said for this one.

11) Fighting properly sometimes means knowing when to fight over things. Some things are just not worth the tension in the relationship. I’ve heard couples fight about the dumbest things you can possibly think of. Sometimes, you’ve got to put away your pride and think about what’s going to hurt more. There are exceptions to this rule, such as talking about finances, kids, etc.

12) If you are looking to marry the person you are with, it’s time to have “the talk.” You need to lay out your expectations about how your relationship is going to be, like when it’s time to have kids, where you want to live, how you want to handle your finances, school, religion, dreams, sex etc. I have known couples to walk down the aisle and haven’t had these conversations, and it’s a huge mistake – one that you might pay for dearly in the end.

13) Immediately after getting engaged, please go find a premarital course to take. Invest not only in your wedding day, but in all the days of your life together.

14) Last, but certainly not least, find time at least once a week to do some form of date night. This being Young, Broke and Kosher, it doesn't have to be expensive. Make sandwiches and have a picnic in the park (once the weather gets better), go enjoy a cup of coffee with some conversation or go get a bite to eat from a restaurant. Just because you're married doesn't mean you stop courting your beloved. It means court more!

Take this advice and do with it what you will. But I have been around the block a couple of times and can tell you for a fact that I know what I am talking about. There's no recipe for the day, but may I suggest an ingredient you should start cooking with, and that's GARLIC. The rabbis actually encourage Jews to eat garlic, particularly on a Friday night, as it's supposed to be an aphrodisiac. So please experiment and try garlic in your dishes if you don't use it already!