The Month of Our Gladness (?)

As many of you know from a previous post, I was in a wedding last weekend. As I stood on stage with the rest of the bridesmaids (and bridesperson – yes, there was a guy bridesmaid), the rabbi said, “Adar is the month of our gladness.”

The Hebrew month of Adar is associated with my favorite Jewish holiday: Purim. It not only has my favorite Jewish food (Hamentashen, or a butter cookie filled with a delicious jam), but on top of it there is nothing quite like dressing up, making a whole bunch of noise and watching a bunch of Hassids getting sloshed. And you thought St. Patty’s day was fun.

There has been so much to celebrate this month, from two weddings to babies being born, new jobs and new homes. And yet there are so many horrible things in the world right now: I think of the earthquake in Japan, the revolutions in the Middle East (overthrowing dictators good, people getting killed bad), the massacre of Itamar and of an 11-year-old girl in Cleveland, Texas, who is being blamed by a whole community for being gang raped. There are terrible tragedies, some that bring out the worst the human race has to offer.

The balance of happiness and sadness is a confusing one. How do we know when to celebrate and when it may be left to a better time? How can we dance at a wedding when everywhere in the world there is sadness, death and heartbreak?

For this, as in so many cases, I turn to Nony – my beloved grandmother, Regina Amira, of blessed memory. She was one of the happiest people that I have ever known. She loved to laugh, she loved to smile and she loved to tell jokes and make mischief. In fact, when she died, my mom’s best friend, Wendy, would say to me, “Your grandmother told the dirtiest jokes. She had a mouth on her like a sailor. I had to have Siggy translate half of what she was saying.”

She had a hard life, there was no doubt about that. She grew up poor and lived poor until she got much older. She made do with very little money. There was a lot for her to be miserable about.

However, there is a story that I love to tell about my grandmother, and it all has to do with a little packet of cream cheese:

At one point, my mom was at Costco and found individual packets of cream cheese to serve with bagels. She purchased it and brought it home for a party my parents were going to throw. Before the party, my grandparents came to visit, and my mom gave her a packet of this cream cheese.

Her face lit up as my mom opened the packet for her. All I can remember her doing is sitting in a chair, beaming, laughing, smiling like a happy schoolgirl eating this packet of cream cheese that wouldn’t have normally cost more than a dollar.

As she ate the cream cheese, she explained to me through the giggles that when she was a little girl, her parents were very poor, and cream cheese was a huge luxury. At times, her mother would bring her over, cut a little bit of cream cheese off of the block and give it to her as a special treat. This was the brightness through the dark of poverty.

It takes a special gift to see the light through the black, to create happiness where you feel like there will never be again. It’s about taking our joy and our sorrow with a grain of salt, to find the balance of the world within whatever event we are experiencing at that moment. After all, do grooms not break glasses under their feet to remember that, even on a day as joyful as their weddings, that there is still pain and suffering in the world, and even within our own hearts?

So I encourage you all this weekend to celebrate this joyous holiday. Go have some shots with some Hassids, wear your best costume and carry those graggers proudly. We have a lot to be thankful for in this world, and when there is an opportunity for celebration, we must celebrate. Even though there is still tragedy, and we will remember that there are people still crying for help, we will maintain the balance of love and hate, happiness and sadness. For after all, “If we do not laugh, we must weep.”

I made hamentashen for the first time last night, and here is the recipe I used. Enjoy!

HAMENTASHEN

1 cup (2 sticks) butter

2 eggs

2 cups of sugar

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons vanilla

4 cups flour

4 teaspoons baking powder

2 tablespoons milk

Your favorite filling, jam or preserves

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Cream the butter, sugar, eggs, salt and vanilla together. Mix the flour and baking soda together and mix into the creamed mixture in batches. Add the milk halfway through the flour incorporation. Combine until it becomes a nice soft dough.

Grease a large cookie sheet. Meanwhile, roll out the dough to 1/8th inch. Using a glass, cut out circles from the dough. Put one to two teaspoons of filling the center. Take each end of the circle and fold it up to the top, pinching it together. Do the same for the other sides until it forms a triangle. Put on the cookie sheet, leaving about 1 inch between each one for expansion.

Bake in the oven for 20 minutes, or until dough is golden brown. Allow to cool on the cookie sheet and remove with a spatula.

QUICK TIP 1: In this recipe, I used vanilla, but if that's not your flavor, feel free to use orange or almond extract. This recipe is basic, so add your own flavor!

QUICK TIP 2: When it comes to fillings, I love strawberry and raspberry as well as apricot. I don't dig on the traditional poppy or prune, but feel free to find your own mix. My cousin actually did a special chocolate filling for his at Yale one year. As for the recipe for that, well, he'd have to give it to you.