Mean People Suck

While I had an amazing experience at the Daily Titan’s reunion on Saturday, going to Los Angeles on Sunday for some wonderful Jewy-ness was not exactly the most thrilling adventure.

Perhaps I should paint a picture of the contrast between the Jewish community near where I live versus the one up in Los Angeles. In Long Beach/Orange County, there is a wonderful air of friendliness. If they don’t know you, they want to know who you are, where you came from and everything about you. You are immediately drawn in and invited to birthdays, parties and different community events. My friend Inbar has always said it best: We are a family here. When I was working, there was nothing sweeter than coming in on a Friday night and being embraced by everyone as I walk in the door for a Shabbat dinner. It was the most perfect way to end the week.

And it’s not only the younger people – at the OC Israel Expo on Sunday, there were greetings and love all around. It was one big giant family reunion. People were courteous and caring, even if we were just in line for the bathroom. It’s a different feeling down here, where we try not to be against each other as much, but try to work together. Must be something in our drinking water.

Then you go up to Los Angeles. There is a dramatic contrast. Mind you, I have tons of Jewish friends who live up in LA, and they are amazing people filled with warmth and love, such as Estee and Eric Rosen, Aryeh Powers of MyKosherLA, my favorite lady from Paraguay, Alexandra, and Danny Shabtai, who moved up to LA to open his business. And how could I forget the amazing Booksteins? But they are few and far between.

One example? I was standing in a circle with my friend Rae, who is introducing people to a couple. The guy in the couple takes one look at me, turns to the woman he’s with, and says, “Let’s go walk around.” Burned.

Then there was my friend Stephen Nagy, who said he stood in the same spot for 45 minutes, and not a person said a word to him. He told me that that would never happen in Long Beach – and he’s absolutely right. No one at a Long Beach event would go ignored. Someone would introduce themselves to that person immediately and try to get them involved.

The truth is this: Good luck getting anyone on the LA scene to talk to me if they didn’t know me. Cliques of people stared at me during the event, wondering where this freak in the purple dress came from. I don’t usually like to leave a party, but I turned to Ari at one point and said, “Let’s get out of here.”

Jennifer, who carpooled with us to both events, said it best: “These events are to see and been seen.” There is no mingling among all the groups, and there is no warmth. There is joy at seeing your friends, but none in trying to get to know anyone else. When I try to be friendly and talk to them, an eyebrow is raised with cynicism.

I don’t blame anyone for this – it’s just the people. Certain events can only be as good as the people who attend them. But I don’t want people to look down at me because I’m not as religious, don’t look as wealthy, I’m not as skinny, or whatever the factor may be that causes it. I don’t go to events to be judged. I go to have fun, network and meet new people and make new friendships. It’s what I’m all about. And that’s why, when it comes to my Jews, I like them with a slice of Orange County… or Long Beach.

So in honor of those amazing Jews of Orange County and Long Beach, this recipe is for you. P’tayavon!

LENTIL SALAD

1 pound cooked lentils, chilled (see quick tip 1)

1 red pepper, diced

1/2 cup diced sheep’s milk feta

1 can corn

1 can black olives

3-4 green onions, sliced

Light balsamic dressing (see quick tip 2)

Chopped parsley (optional)

Drain the lentils and place in a large salad bowl. Drain and rinse the corn and olives. Slice the olives and add that and the corn. Add the diced red pepper and green onions. Add the feta last and mix together gently. If serving all of it immediately, add the balsamic dressing and parsley. If not, wait to add before serving.

QUICK TIP 1: I usually buy my lentils already cooked. But if you want to make your own, there are many different varieties to choose from, but green and brown are probably your best bets for a dish like this. You’ll find them dried, so before you cook, go through them and make sure there are no little rocks or any damaged lentils. Cook at a ratio of 1 ½ cups of water to 1 cups of lentils. Season the water with herbs or cook it in broth, but do not add salt – it will toughen them. They should be boiled for 2 to 3 minutes, then simmered for about 45 minutes, tasting 10 to 15 minutes before the end of cook time to make sure they are not overcooked. They should be tender but firm for a salad like this.

QUICK TIP 2: Balsamic works well, but I find that a honey mustard does some wonderful magic for this salad. Whatever you choose, make sure that it is slightly sweet, as it will bring out the flavor of the sheep’s milk feta.