Proposition 8 and Me

When I was in high school, I had a friend who figured out he was gay, and came out. He was a good friend, and what he did took a lot of guts: Admitting you’re gay in a high school that was insanely homophobic, right down to every person saying, “That’s so gay” whenever anything was wrong, was beyond courageous. I will always admire him for it, and never forget it.

Even before I knew that certain friends were gay (many of whom came out later), I knew that being homophobic was wrong. I knew it just as much as I knew that being racist or sexist was wrong.

The issue became personal later as I realized that someone very close to me who I love is gay. Growing up, I thought that my Uncle B living in West Hollywood, having a bunch of Disney stuff and an interior design business was normal. I wondered why he didn’t get married, because he was the best uncle that two little girls could ever ask for. I was beginning to sense that he was gay when my dad, his brother, had a conversation with him about my sister’s first boyfriend, and he was talking about the wedding.

“Now, now, she’s got a lot more boys’ hearts to break,” my father said.

“Well, so do I!” Uncle B replied.

The truth was that I found out later about how his sexual identity tortured him. My grandfather never really understood my uncle, and my grandmother never really accepted his sexual identity. It was during a complicated time where homosexuality wasn’t talked about openly. There have been so many generations where people were ruined by living in a world where there wasn’t acceptance of how they lived.

I love Uncle B very much, and think of him, and all my amazing gay friends of past, present and future, today as proposition 8 was overturned by a federal judge. Gay marriage, for me, is right for so many reasons, from helping increase our revenues from the increased marriage industry that California would have or simply because it’s better than the lame excuses that the other side gives (Protect marriage? From who? Is there an evil monster coming to destroy the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder’s office because of this?).

Yes, I do keep kosher and I am a conservative Jew, but the fact of the matter is that I am a fan of progress. I am not for tradition unless it means something at the end of the day, and not a fan of things being a certain way just because they always were that way. So in a world where straight people get divorced as quickly as they say, “I do,” I am a firm believer in giving marriage to people who still hold it as something sacred.

This does make me an odd anomaly in a world where I balance tradition and the modern world. I have detested the arguments where people say “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” or that the bible said it. The truth is the bible also outlined how we sacrifice animals. And many of the who don’t want gay marriage and cite the bible for their reason I’m sure love their pork – and this kosher goddess may take away your pork and cheeseburgers in that case to prove your hypocrisy (Leviticus is where they first outline kashrut laws and where many cite the “homosexuality is an abomination” thing, FYI).

The truth of the matter? It’s not our business. I have come to the conclusion that I am the only one who can control my life, and I believe that everyone else should be given the same autonomy. The whole question of G-d is something that cannot be forced down our throats. When it comes down to it, my personal choices are between Hashem and me, and I will only answer to The Holy One at the end of the day. It should be the same for our gay friends.

I want to let my gay friends know that I will be a friend to them no matter what happens. It’s why the overturning of Proposition 8 is so important to me. I stand against inequality and always stand for love. When I see pictures of you looking so happy with your loved one as you are about to be married, I am joyous in the fact that there is more love in this universe than hate. And it gives me that much more of a chance to see a gay wedding. I definitely want to go to a gay wedding!

And on that note, here is a pizza that you could serve as an appetizer at your wedding. Here’s to all my gay friends and to my beloved uncle. I love you!

GOAT CHEESE PIZZA

1 ball pizza dough (see QUICK TIP 1)

Flour

¼ cup spaghetti or pizza sauce (see QUICK TIP 2)

1 8-ounce container of goat cheese

1 can sliced black olives

8-10 marinated artichoke hearts

3 tablespoons parmesan cheese

1 teaspoon oregano

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Knead and roll out your pizza dough on a biscuit tray, using flour in case it gets too sticky. Pour and spread out spaghetti sauce on top.

Slice the goat cheese and disperse evenly on top of the dough. Top with olives. Drain and pat the artichoke dry of any excess oil and top the pizza. Sprinkle parmesan and oregano.

Bake for 20 minutes, until the artichokes and cheese begin to slightly brown. Slice and serve.

QUICK TIP 1: I use store-bought dough, as it really is a lot easier for me to do on a night where I need a quick meal. However, if you want to make your own dough, I really like this recipepizza.com site for the variety, but this recipe from Giada DeLaurentiis looks fabulous .

QUICK TIP 2: I used store-bought for this, but I love making spaghetti sauce. If you’re adventurous, try this: Saute 3 cloves of garlic with 1 cup sliced Cremini mushrooms and one small diced onion seasoned with salt and pepper for 5 minutes. Add 2 28-ounce cans of diced tomatoes and about 1 teaspoon sugar, 1 tablespoon oregano, 1 tablespoon basil and salt and pepper to taste. Allow to simmer over the stovetop for 10 minutes