Ten years ago, I stood in front of 3,000 people and gave a speech at my high school graduation. It was an incredible moment of my life, and somewhat of a miracle – I wandered through high school as a rebellious mystery. Out of all the people who auditioned to give a speech, I probably had the lowest GPA, and I certainly wasn’t valedictorian material. Yet somehow it seemed fit to give me a spot on the graduation program.
On top of it, my speech wasn’t traditional material – while everyone else sought inspirational tidbits, I told the honest truth that I was just thankful to leave. I was ready for the rest of my life, and I thought to myself, There has to be something more than high school.
Thank G-d that I was right. Although looking back, I admit that I was naïve about the world at the age of 17, I still was full of good advice. I used some of those pieces of advice as I moved on, and although ten years after my high school graduation I am unemployed, the truth is that I have had a wonderful, amazing, unusual and unconventional life. And I am extremely grateful for that.
Now, my cousin Jacob is graduating from Yale summa cum laude, my cousin Griffin is graduating from high school and getting ready to go to Loyola Marymount, his sister Lindzey graduated from Loyola Marymount and Ari’s cousin Brian (who I love to pieces) is graduating high school and gearing up for the adventure of his life: a year studying abroad in Israel through Young Judea. I love all of them, and I dedicate this blog post for them. I have ten years worth of advice to give, but as not to make this blog post an eternity, I am limiting this to ten points:
1) Just because you are a star now doesn’t mean it will last forever, but just because you aren’t now doesn’t mean you won’t be again. My father always told me “And this, too, shall pass,” and it is true for every stage of life. Never take for granted that things will always be right, and never think that just because things are rotten things won’t change. It’s that incredible middle ground that we need to all learn to walk like a tightrope. But then again, as Rabbi Nachman of Breslov always said, “The world is a very narrow bridge. The most important part is not to be afraid.”
2) Speaking of the world, it is a difficult and cruel place. You are shielded from it in college, but once you are kicked into it, you’ll learn that not everyone wants to help you succeed, that sometimes you will fail and that it will not necessarily mean just an F. It means more, but like the Fs you receive on assignments, it’s sometimes okay to fail, and it will help you learn. It’s not all sunshine and butterflies; it’s seriously hard work.
3) You shouldn’t be naïve about the world, but at the same time, you shouldn’t let it get your innocence. Just because the world is a cruel place doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice who you are for it. The fact is that if you do, you will wake up one day and realize what you did and face the hard truth that it will be too late to get it back.
4) Money is not an automatic. Know how to handle your finances. It’s absolutely essential if you’re going to function in life. When you go out into the real world, know how much you’re worth. Companies like to pretend you’re not worth as much as you are. However, money is not everything – remember all the poor people in this world who have true happiness, and all the rich people who are camped out at their therapists’ offices popping anti-depressants.
5) No one is going to take care of you for your entire life. Your parents may love you, but you’re not a baby. Take responsibility for your own actions, no matter what they are, and no matter what has happened. Don’t hide behind them.
6) Love is the most incredible gift that was given to human beings. It makes life worth living when times are tough, and they make life sweeter when life is good to you. We may break hearts and we may have our hearts broken, but giving up on love, or even the concept of it, shuts out the world and people from us. Love openly, and never shut anyone out just because of trivial things like politics, appearances or social standing. We need to learn to love people for everything they are – and everything they’re not.
7) Robert Frost gave me some of the most important advice I took into life: “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I/I took the road less travelled by/and that has made all the difference.” I made choices in my life that were pretty unconventional. People wanted me to do a certain thing, and I followed my gut. No one can give you advice quite like your gut instinct. They have usually led me to some of my best choices. Trust yourself, and although it may feel like the wrong decision at first, it may not be the worst choice in the long run.
8) Sometimes it’s okay to fall apart. We break down from time to time, and need some TLC. Take the time to take care of yourself when you know you need it. If you repair yourself as needed, you’ll be ready to face challenges as they come. Sometimes the strength to deal with things comes from the ability to hit rock bottom.
9) Life is meant to be lived, so don’t hold back. Explore, dance, laugh and appreciate everything in the world. It’s crucial to do this, as life is incredibly unpredictable. Sometimes things we thought would last forever are taken away too fast. So live freely and share the experiences with those you care about. Never take a single breath you take for granted. Trust me, as this comes from a girl who for a while couldn’t breathe. Even your heart beating is sacred.
10) Oh, and it’s still okay to be different. No matter what anyone says. As I had said before, thank goodness for Lady Gaga and Glee.
Congrats, class of 2010! And Jacob, Lindzey, Griffin and Brian… I love you guys, and all the best as you set forth into the world and begin your amazing journeys! Mazel tov!
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