Thursday, October 7, 2010

It Gets Better... Right?

This week, the Internet has been abuzz about the “It Gets Better” project launched by Dan Savage. Mind you, I think this project is important. Letting teenagers know that suicide is not the answer, that there is help out there and that things will get better for them is crucial for their survival. I really recommend looking at it.

Many celebrities are rallying for the cause, including some of my favorites (hello, Tim Gunn, whose picture needed to be in this blog!). But in the light of my own darkness, there is the question that I have to pose for celebrities as they are driving around in their nice cars to their big homes – well, except for the sacred Tim, who has admitted he still takes the subway in New York.


Depression is a huge problem not only for teens. For the millions of out-of-work people in the United States, it is an even bigger problem. Many of them, myself included, have lost a lot of hope, and seem to be unable to function and do what they normally do. Some have gone off the rails. I remember that, for a while, there were stories every day about how unemployed people were so desperate, they killed their families and then themselves to get rid of the misery of it all.

The August unemployment rate in the United States was 9.5 percent – almost one in ten Americans is unemployed. In California, it’s 12.8 percent. And there are more people telling me that I need to get off my ass and do X, Y and Z rather than, “Hold on. It will get better, and you will look back on this as simply a memory.”

I will admit, save for a few episodes of pure bliss, I have been incredibly depressed over the past few months. I have been unmotivated to do anything, including taking care of this blog or cooking. My reduction to crying fits poisoned me, and when it seemed like my friends disappeared from off the face of the earth, it became even worse.

I have been fortunate that my parents have been incredibly supportive and understanding, and that several friends have offered whatever they could to help us. However, it seems like many people want to retreat. It’s too close, to personal, especially because its from someone they know, and besides, what do they get out of it? It’s easier to back up then to reach out. It’s like elementary school: Everyone wants to be your friend if you’re giving out candy, but if you’re not, watch out.

My concern has been whether it gets better or not. A friend on Facebook has been posting quotes from Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, and while they have been comforting, they are not enough to wake me from the haze of depression and make me believe that things will change from this desperation.

I am not dumping on Dan Savage’s parade – his cause is important. But as a person who is unemployed and slumping, I think it would help if we had a YouTube campaign about current successes who were once down-and-out. Jewel, for example, was living in her car before she became successful. Eminem came from a trailer park. And, of course, J.K. Rowling was living off of welfare as a single mom with a baby, writing a fabulous tale of a boy wizard in coffee shops.

For the millions of Americans out there who are depressed from the economy and the state of the workplace, we need some reassurance. Sadly, since I am in the same state, I can’t give it to you. But I encourage those who have been through it to reassure us and care for us.

And as for those who have their jobs and think they know better than us? Shut your mouths, because you’re not helping. We have to get out of our funk to find jobs, and one of the main reasons you have a job is that you are fortunate enough to not have lost it in the downturn.

May G-d bless us with health, happiness and, of course, jobs!

Love, Rein

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