The Consequences of Our Actions

First of all, let me apologize about not blogging as much as I should have been. Things have gotten a little bit out of control lately, but I have learned a lot about many things. I have learned what it’s like to hit rock bottom, but I also saw truth. And the truth is that sometimes we have no idea – sometimes until it’s too late – about the consequences of our actions.

I don’t think most people understand this. We act foolishly, and then realize years down the line how we shouldn’t have done this, that or the other, but yet can’t repair what we have done. Sometimes, we don’t even act foolishly; in fact, there are times where we do what we should, what we are meant to do or even what is the right thing, but there are even consequences to them. It seems like it's the statement for both the world around me and what's going on directly in my life.

The truth is that sometimes we just cannot win. Our actions cannot satisfy everyone, and I believe there are very few actions that do. But the fact is that we should think about how we respond to our circumstances and how we affect people through our actions. Do we use them exclusively for our comfort, or do we do them to help others? Do we use them to shut out those who love us, or do we do them to try to bring people in?

Recently, I watched as actions, both present and past, came bubbling to the surface. They had been happening for years, but now they came to a head. Actions that were both right and wrong took their tolls, and as a result, it broke my heart and led me to my rock bottom. Luckily, friends and my husband came swooping in to try to help put me back together again; I could not have gotten through without their love.

Judaism tells us to do certain things in our lives and understand our actions. We should never embarrass others and be there for them. We should come together, and never let our actions divide us. Above all, we should love. But it doesn’t tell us we should ignore those who love us, walk all over people, or treat people like they’re nothing or order them around because of one thing or another. We should not hurt others. Yet we seem to do it often.

I live with no regrets, and I feel that I have tried my best to make the best decisions and take the right actions in regards to myself and others around me. But the fact is that, as my beloved mother-in-law said to me so wisely the other day, even though she really had no idea as to what was going on with me, “We cannot change others. We can only change ourselves.” No truer words have been said.

So I may not be able to change the fact that my actions are viewed a certain way, even if I know the truth that it’s the right thing to do. I cannot change that no matter what I do, some people will always view me as what I was back then, and not what I am now. What I can do is eliminate the negativity in my life, not let people push me around and not let those in who treat me like I’m not worthy of their time be the be-all and end-all of my life.

Instead of lingering, perhaps it’s time to move on. Perhaps it’s time to be happy and to let go of the pain. For Ari, he does it with sports, which often means bar stuff, such as nachos. So this is for my rock who has been so amazing through this difficult time – even if now he says he won’t eat them because they’ll make him fat.

NACHOS
5 cups corn chips
2 cups cheddar cheese
2-3 scallions
½ red pepper
½ can black beans, drained and dried
½ can black olives
½ avocado
½ jalapeño (optional)

Put the corn chips in a bowl. Top with the cheese. Microwave for 2 minutes and 30 seconds, until the cheese is bubbling.
Chop the scallions, red pepper and jalapeño finely. Cut the avocado into thin slices and slice the olives. Top the nachos with them, along with the beans, while the cheese is still hot.

Quick Tip 1: If you don’t have a microwave, or you prefer your oven, just spread the chips on a cookie sheet, top with cheese and bake at 425 degrees, then top with your ingredients. The microwave just happens to be easier.

Quick Tip 2: If you like chili cheese nachos, you can buy soy chili in your local market. Just zap it and top your nachos. Or, if you make soy chili, you can use your leftovers on top of these goodies.