Passover Lessons

What a Passover we have had! With good food, awesome family and lots of love, I feel that it’s important to pass on some important lessons about life, happiness and, of course, about food:

* Apple computers, for some odd reason, came up at both seders. Why is this computer different from all other computers?

* Never bring up delicate subjects before seder. It’s about freedom, people, not about bugging me about when I am going to get a job (unemployment = tyranny).

* The in-laws use a traditional hagadah, and usually go by the book for the seder. My mother has created the family hagadah. Yes, that’s how hands-on my mom is. It’s not enough to make the food, but she’s also got to create the text, complete with Ladino readings.

* At the Slutske family seder, mom will always cry when reading certain passages of the hagadah. Her voice will break, wind down, and get back to normal. The pattern will repeat as long as mom is reading.

* Ari’s 97-year-old grandmother doesn’t need that much wine to totally get wasted and start talking and singing like a five-year-old, complete with an insanely high pitched nasal voice and calling my father-in-law, aka her son, “Daddy."

* Seder singing is much more fun with Ari’s cousin Sabrina around. “Ehad Mi Odeach” is much more fun when it seems to become a rat race.

* Meanwhile, at the Slutske seder, there are quite a few Passover songs where they come with the tunes of popular musicals – for example, “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music becomes “Our Passover Things,” and the song goes from being German to simply Jewy.

* Although I may be a Sephardi, I love my mother-in-law’s three-layer gefilte fish pie that is just oh-so-yummy with red horseradish. If you ever want to make it for yourself, it’s in the cookbook “Kosher by Design” by Susie Fishbein (and it was one of my first cookbooks when I got married – fabulous recipes!).

* Also at the Slutske family seder, cousin Amy will try to take as much frittada as humanly possible. As she said at seder, “I wait all year for this food.” It shows, too.

* And speaking of Sabrina from earlier, when I married Ari, I feel like Sabrina and her brother Brian became my cousins my default. They are not just cousins by marriage. They are just awesome. It’s great to inherit family so simply.

* Auntie Malka, their mother, is now an ovo-vegan, which means that she is a vegan who will eat eggs. However, she said she will only eat organic eggs or eggs “from chickens that she knows.” I personally do not have any acquaintances with chickens. Do you?

* Ari fell instantly in love with all the names of the amazing Sephardic foods he has had since meeting me. Sometimes, he loves them so much that he will start singing their names for no particular reason.

* Lucy Slutske, aka the dog, does not usually like human food. But she does have a thing about Passover. She loves my mom’s potatoes and the novias (read: traditional Sephardi leek burgers) that she makes every year. It’s the only time she perches herself under the table waiting for scraps.

* Mind you, Lucy is going to have to fight my Uncle Victor for those potatoes. A part of me wonders whether he comes to the seder just to have them.

* Delicious Passover desserts are possible – just ask my mom! She made the most amazing strawberry torte with a macaroon crust. I will definitely try to intercept the recipe and make it for myself – except with a chocolate macaroon crust.

* No matter what seder you’re at, make sure you have plenty of fruit. I’m serious here. Your stomach will thank you. My mom makes a wonderful compote sometimes, but cantaloupe and honeydew, like my mother-in-law serves, are great choices.

* As we say “L’shana Haba’ah b’Yirushalaim,” it’s sweeter knowing that at least someone at my in-laws seder table will be able to spend next year’s holiday in the holy land (congrats, Brian!).

* And as much as I love my side of the family, let me just answer this once and for all: Yes, I am kosher. No, I don’t eat pork or unkosher meat. Yes, I have separate dishes, including a set for Passover. No, that doesn’t make me a freak. Move along.

I hope you all continue to have a wonderful holiday all the way through, Meanwhile, I will dream about bread and kitniyot…